The Daily Open Minded Writer

Goals and aspirations for this blog

I created this blog to fully express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions without fear of judgment or reprisal because not every thought, feeling, or emotion is nice, thoughtful, or compassionate. I do my best daily to be that thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and loving person that people see me as.  There is a beautiful thing about writing and expressing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions without the need to filter them for whom I am talking with in my day-to-day life or my shrink for fear of judgment or repercussions for my thoughts or feelings.  I also think one of the most significant advantages, while being the biggest disadvantage at the same time, is the anonymity that the digital age has brought us because, in some instances, it is the biggest problem with people’s feelings of self-worth and self-image but at the same time it provides people like me to be able to express them self in a format that is safe and protects the writer at the same time from possible judgment and or side effects of me expressing them and working my self through them.  It is through this self-exploration that I feel I will be able to help make sense of my feelings given everything that has happened, and I hope that if someone decides to start to read this emotional dialog I have within myself, they can also find support and solace in knowing they are not alone in this journey of heartbreak, feeling discarded, feeling alone to the point your in a room full of people screaming to be heard and no one even bats an eye at them as they fall apart in front of their very eyes.  I hope you know I understand the idea of feeling so alone and no one being there to help you, and you’re there struggling on your own to tread water, just barely keeping your head from sinking down into the eternal abyss and just letting go of it all.  I understand what it feels like to wake up from a dead sleep in a cold sweat from a nightmare, in a complete panic with no one there to comfort you and your heart racing nonstop so you can go back to sleep as you lay there trying to figure out which is worse the reality that your life now or the potential for another nightmare and you’re forced just to lay there trying to think of something positive and it gets to the point it’s almost impossible so you inevitably end up doom scrolling your phone which in turn only makes you feel 100 times worse then you felt already.  I have been there and continue to be there still, and this is my journey through the darkest point in my life, a point I never thought I would reach or would happen to me. I honestly thought I was on the uphill swing of life, destined to reach heights I once only dreamed about and was about to achieve.  I truly thought I was going to be one of the minority not the majority, unfortunately this is not the case and this will be the beginning of discovering who I am, where I want to go from here and trying to rebuild myself from absolutely nothing but a destroyed, discarded human to something worth being proud, someone who can look into the mirror and not be disgusted, someone who can smile again, who is content with their life once more and has some pride in their accomplishments no matter how small because currently I feel so worthless its consuming me to the point I need a place to vent it out and try to work through these emotions because I have two choices one bottle them up and ignore them which does no one any good or two, work through them here and hope for a significantly improved outcome that results in learning, personal growth, and personal pride of who I am, what I do for a living, and where my life is headed but I feel as though I have a very, very long and rough road ahead of me to get there just know that in the end of the day you are not alone there is always someone out there within the ether of this digital age that is there for you and willing to support you even when you feel as though no one has your back, your up against a wall, you are reaching your breaking point and just want to stop treading water because it all seems so pointless you are not alone.