The Daily Open Minded Writer

After months of struggling immensely, both mentally and physically, I have vowed to start focusing on doing more for myself rather than just existing to work, eating poorly, and watching countless hours of Netflix, combined with non-stop doom scrolling on my phone. I have realized that this routine accomplishes absolutely nothing for me, and most importantly, it wastes the little valuable time I have when I’m not working or engaged in some meaningless task assigned to me under the pretense of needing extra “stuff” for my performance evaluation.

I have now committed to using the days — well, the nights that I don’t work — to better my situation in all avenues until they decide to switch my schedule back to day shifts. This constant changing of my sleep schedule has become more than just annoying; it has also had a profoundly impactful side effect. In the last three months alone, I’ve had to completely flip my sleep schedule over 30 times. Yes, you read that correctly: 30 times. As a result, I now have a tiny semblance of a consistent sleep routine, which is causing me to struggle with sleep regularly or even get more then four hours of sleep together its more often like broken sleep like I sleep two hours here two hours there and four hours there and this causes me to totally accomplish nothing because I am so tired on my days off that its a massive chore to just get out of bed let alone really do much. The sad part is that I keep making a weekly list of tasks and other things I want to do and complete by the end of the week, and I have consistently failed to do so, letting things fall to the wayside and not getting anything really accomplished or done, which serves zero purpose.

I hope that dedicating more time to the gym will help me start my days more effectively and become significantly more productive in all aspects of my life. I really need to, because I have let myself go to the point I hate seeing myself in the mirror, and I need to regain my lifting strength and abilities, both strength endurance, and my continued drive to just be better, do more, and be able to effectively manage it all from the start. Like I was so good at the balancing act with everything in my life I was on it I had shit lined up in my planner, I had my days planned out weeks in advance down to what I was doing then I completed school and like it just all came crashing down like a house of cards as soon as I hit the finish line in school. The worst part about the gym is going back after a long break and feeling incredibly weak when you look at your old stats on your lifts, such as what used to be your play weight, which is now something you struggle with. Seeing the difference between what I used to lift and what I can lift now is beyond demoralizing. However, I am trying to maintain a positive attitude and remind myself that we all hit stumbling blocks in our lives. Lack of consistency and the required discipline to maintain a healthy lifestyle can be a significant challenge. It’s just a matter of getting back on the horse and keeping going while remaining as consistent as possible with my gym time, so now every off day no matter when I wake up I will get up shower ( its a weird part of waking up for me that really helps get me motivated to do anything) and hit the gym. The nice thing about this routine is that it allows me to ride my bike (motorcycle) a lot more than I have, and since the riding season is starting to come to a close in about two months, I might as well get as much time in the saddle as possible.

You know, buying a bike was a semi-impulse buy when I purchased it. I honestly did not think it would be as easy as it was to get financed for the bike, let alone have them sell me a bike that was definitely way over my skill set. Still, hey, here I am 200 miles later on my bike, and I will be damned, I love it! Now don’t get me wrong, I am still scared shitless riding it, but that fear has caused me to take things slow and managable to a point that it has allowed me to build up confidence and skills where I can push my speed just a little bit on turns and not have a crazy amount of fear riding in traffic. So maybe I am on to something here, pushing myself to go to the gym each day and forcing myself to gear up and take my bike there has really helped me overcome my fear of riding with traffic, and just recently in the rain with wet roads, because that was a massive milestone for me.

With these new changes, I wanted to take the time to develop this blog and push my design skills. Most of all, I have taken the time to really explore both my life and dedicate the time I need to writing. As time goes on, I plan to implement more rules into my life slowly. Still, for once, I have been sticking to one and been successful, which is a good start because before that, I was famous for making new rules and or coming up with plans and then never actually following through with them, so I am going to celebrate the small wins and see where this takes me.